Most of my family and friends know that Miss A' is the queen of therapy. We normally find ourselves at one type, or another (PT, OT, Speech, Cognitive, Social, etc., etc.) most days of the week. J', sr. and I tease that shuttling her to her various appointments is a full time job, but no job has ever been as rewarding.
Parenting a child that you did not birth is challenging in itself. The bonding that takes place from the moment your child is handed to you after delivery is skipped. With A', she missed so many of the typical environmental molding opportunities that even some adopted children enjoy. While in the orphanage she wasn't held. She wasn't nurtured from birth. Nobody held her when feeding her, let alone made sure she was eating enough. She wasn't able to gaze into her birth mothers eyes, or feel her birth fathers rough face against hers. She was never given toys to play with, and the only entertainment she was offered were her hands and feet to play with. She didn't have anyone rock her to sleep, or sing her a lullaby. She was never given the freedom of mobility. She didn't experience the wind on her face, or the grass beneath her feet.
I try to not be judgemental of others reactions to A' because they do not know her past. People often are shocked to hear that she is 3 and cannot walk, or stand unassisted. Some assume that she is far more than I can handle and express their "concern" to me about her disability, especially after learning that we are expecting baby #5 (I would rather have my "hands full" of children any day to having none at all...btw!) Some do not take into account where she came from and what she lacked, nor do they care to know. Some judge her based on what they can see on the outside. Some may compare her to their "typical" 3 year old child, or to her brother D' (who is only 2 months older). I am often asked about the things that she cannot do, and not about what she CAN do. She has shown more courage, determination, and trust than most people show in a lifetime. She is one driven little lady, and we rejoice knowing that she is EXACTLY how the Lord intended her to be. She will never be a
burden to us, and she will never be labeled by us as our adopted, disabled child from China (gasp....someone referred to her in that manner the other day!) She is our daughter. Period.
Although we will love her and accept her no matter where she is "cognitive, social, and physical," it has been amazing to literally watch her come alive since our return. In just three months, she has gone from lying on her backside most of the day sucking on her fingers to having a strong preference for "her" people. She loves to watch her brothers and sister run around her. Her once blank stares are now returned with huge smiles and giggles. She has gone from primarily getting her nourishment from a bottle that was being held by someone else, to independently holding her sippy cup w/both hands. She has gone from not communicating at all, to signing like crazy whenever she wants milk, or food. She is also currently adding a few more signs to her "vocabulary" such as mom, up, candy (nice), yogurt, help, and cereal. She has gone from not knowing what to do with her hands to using them freely to feed herself, engage with toys, using them to pull herself along, etc. She has gone from barely able to sit up to nearly standing on her own. I could continue for a day on her development. :) Just today, one of her therapists divulged to me that the first time she saw A', she would of labeled her at a 3 month old in terms cognitive development. Fast forward three months, and now she is very comfortable placing her around 12-15 months cognitively....not bad to advance 9-12 month in 3 months! Sometimes, I tend to focus too much on the mobility aspect of her development and forget that her cognitive and social improvements are just as important in the grand scheme of things.
So, my point in all of this is please do not judge a book by the cover. Her improvements may not appear to be significant to some, but they are so HUGE to us. We are constantly amazed by A's progress, and we are so thankful that the Lord is working His will in her. :)
